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Joke of the Day

"A penis and a condom walk into a bar and spend the whole night drinking, Come closing the penis tries to stiff the bartender... But his friend had him covered."

Next Joke
 
"I got a tattoo in the bald spot on top of my head that reads ""let go of my ears lady, I know what I'm doing"""
"I went out clubbing in the village last night. People looked concerned when i came back covered in blood. I was more concerned about my club."
"I usually turn down the volume on my car radio when searching for an address, as if the house will shout out to me as I approach."
"Sexting gone wrong I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today. Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps."
"Why is Donald Trump always biting his fingers? Because they look just like Vienna sausages."
"ME (having a disagreement with a friend): I'd like to speak to your manager"
"Unlike most English people my girlfriend doesn't have bad teeth. She sold them."
"I don't think this guy who just told a woman to calm down understands how women work"
"""Let's fly to Russia, get a bucket of water from the Caspian Sea, then put it above the door so it falls on Jeff!"" - Impractical joke"