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Joke of the Day
"I was arrested for indecent exposure, but, sadly, released for lack of evidence."
Next Joke
"What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the European Union."
"What are the three rules of being a plumber? Hot on left; cold on right. Shit runs downhill. Never, ever, put your tools in your mouth."
"Stop wearing shirts that make us want to look at your titties if you don't want us to look at your titties, because TITTIES!!"
"What do you call two crows sitting in a tree? Attempted murder"
"A dyslexic person walks into a bar I on the other hand am not dyslexic and am not one to frequent drinking holes. Also I suck at jokes."
"{marriage counseling} I guess it all started when I saw him put the toothpaste on before the water... *therapist scribbles furiously*"
"Have you heard about the three Chinese virgins? Tu Yung Tu, Tu Dum Tu, and No Yen Tu."
"So lemme get this straight. Han Solo can understand Chewbacca just fine but at age 900, basic English grammar still goes over Yoda's head."
"Today, someone asked me if there's a possibility that I know anything about Medieval music. I said, ""not a Gregorian chants""."