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Joke of the Day

"Why is there no gambling in Africa? Too many cheetahs"

"I loathe tweets like ""Be somebody's beautiful tragedy"". Might as well tweet using a random word generator. ""Be golf brisket honkytonk"""

"Ever wonder why you always get a boner when you look in the mirror? That's because your dick thinks you're a cunt too!"

"Her: baby can you come up here and play with me? Me: *sprints up stairs Her: I'm kidding. Can you hand me the remote? Me: this is so us"

"What did the Morman say when asked what kind of wives he wanted? ""Brigham Young"""

"What does pubic hair and parsley have in common? You just push them both aside and keep on eating."

"I was raised as an only child. Which really pissed my brothers off."

"What is the longest word in the english language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"""

"My girlfriend just broke up with me. I deserved it... I asked her to so I could do this joke."

"I'm so dependent on the google ""did you mean ____?"" that i barely bother to spell anything even remotely correctly"