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Joke of the Day

"FREE IPAD FOR ANSWERING A SIMPLE SURVEY. 1) WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 2) DO YOU OWN WEAPONS? 3) WHEN ARE YOU MOST VULNERABLE? #NIGHTOFTHEFREEIPAD"

"I am probably single....because i didnt forward those chain messages in 2008"

"Dolphin scientists say that dolphins are the smartest animal next to humans, but I think they're only saying that because they're dolphins."

"Probably the worst time to ask ""shouldn't we go on a date first?"" is after getting handcuffed by a police officer."

"Q. What's the difference between 'weather' and 'climate'? A. You can 't 'weather' a tree but you can 'climate'!"

"What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar? Ew."

"Pretty good one liner ___________."

"Autocorrect can be a real birch. Dammit!"

"Yes, it's me Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"Would you like to hear a joke about violence and torture? What is WRONG with you!"