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Joke of the Day

"How are you getting on with the Internet? Surf far so good."

"I still remember the day the dentist removed my braces. My trousers fell down and he molested me."

"National Women's Equality Day is the Same Day as National Dog's Day Coincidence? I think not."

"*goes on Facebook AGAIN* *reads 100,000th idiotic post* *thinks other people are stupid*"

"History Of The Hipster Culture That You Probably Never Heard Of, But Whatever #futurecollegeclass"

"Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again"

"200 Catholics, one cup. -Mass"

"[me telling a joke] guy wearing a ""Make America Great Again"" hat: I don't understand. ME: There's probably a lot you don't understand."

"Apologies your honor [slides ventriloquist dummy back under my seat] I was told these proceedings were going to be televised."

"A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel hanging from his crotch. Someone asks ""what is that on you?"" He responds, ""Arrr, I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!"""