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Joke of the Day

"Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake."

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""why the long face?"""

"Some jerk called me ""pretentious"" so I called him a ""planktupus."" I can make up nonsense words too."

"I would have been a stripper... ...but I just couldn't pull it off. Follow the format; go!"

"My body is a temple. I care about it three to five times a year purely out of guilt."

"How does a vagina tell time? With a twatch"

"I'm on a diet A watermelondiet, cant eat anything bigger then a watermelon."

"Had a vasectomy, was told it would stop my ability to have kids... Apparently it just makes them change colors."

"who has two thumbs and loves stupid bets?? not me i lost mine in a bet"

"A new study shows that men's eyesight improves by an average of 15% when they are looking at a woman's butt. Hindsight really is 20/20."