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Joke of the Day

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

"Why are some people so odd? Because they can't even."

"I saw two blind people on campus today One of them walks by the same spot every day at 1:20. I've never seen the other one before. I don't think she's seen me either... or ever will."

"""Sensitive"" guys who only retweet chicks, you're not fooling anyone."

"Definition of embarassment The definition of embarassment is when you walk into a wall with a full erection and hit your nose first"

"One. How many psychics does it take to change a lightbulb?"

"Merry christmas and happy new year! - Internet explorer"

"Forrest Gump ran for 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days, which is approximately 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days longer than I've ever run."

"Set of jumper cables walks into a bar... The bartender looks them up and down really slow and says, OK, I'll serve you, but don't be starting anything."

"Two cops knocked on my door Me: What do you want? Cops: We just want to talk. Me: How many of you are out there? Cops: There's two of us. Me: So why don't you talk with each other?"