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Joke of the Day

"Son, always wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming ""But dad we're goldfish"" Oh yeah, I forgot ""Forgot what?"""

"It's the year 2354, the world is now like that futuristic Bruce Willis movie. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the other one. No,"

"well its a strange request ""pleease"" ok ok [doctor says test results again only this time in arnold schwarzenegger voice] its naht a toomah"

"[Airport terminal] *waits at baggage claim area* *an entire roast pig emerges on the carousel* *I check the tag to make sure it's mine*"

"What happens if a line doesn't get enough Vitamin C? It gets curvy."

"Did you guys hear that Donald Trump met with the Bilderberg group? They are the Buildawall group now."

"A skeleton walks into a bar The bartender says, what will you have? Skeleton says, a beer... and a mop"

"Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment. Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart."

"A Joke for all the Arabic speakers out there Why did the Saudi restaurant get in trouble? They put the Umm Ali next to the Baba Ghanoush."

"""You can't have your cake and eat it too"" People that don't know how cake works."