193493

Joke of the Day

"It's the year 2354, the world is now like that futuristic Bruce Willis movie. No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the other one. No,"

"I was gonna tell you a gay joke butt fuck it."

"Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? He hasn't either"

"I do feel bad for some of you who complain about all the unwanted attention you get on Twitter. Maybe you should try notepad, or word."

"I didn't sleep well last night so I made my coffee with redbull instead of water. I got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car."

"So, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs walk into a bar... and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence."

"My wife told me I needed to slow down on the alcohol... ...or better yet, stop driving altogether."

"My neighbors hurt some bystanders by illegally setting off fireworks. If only there had been a good guy with fireworks around to stop them"

"[ronald mcdonald in fake mustache sidles up to group of teens] mcdonalds sucks right guys? Let's discuss ways they could improve their image"

"Why don't you make like a tree & get slammed into by my drunk uncle on Halloween 97 why didnt you call a cab Uncle Gary we miss you so much"