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Joke of the Day

"well its a strange request ""pleease"" ok ok [doctor says test results again only this time in arnold schwarzenegger voice] its naht a toomah"

"My brother's so homophobic that if he dropped his keys in San Francisco he'd kick them to Oakland before bending over to pick them up."

"How can you tell that someone's a vegan? Don't worry; they'll tell you themselves."

"Hey Ernie, want some Ice Cream? Sure Bert! XD"

"I'm thinking of writing a Mystery novel... or am I?"

"How many Software Engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None- that's hardware."

"What does a lawyer wear to work? A lawsuit!"

"Im on a new diet. Actually im on 2 diets. I couldent get enough to eat on one."

"God making man in his image was the original selfie"

"Why did the acid perform poorly? Because it didn't concentrate."