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Joke of the Day

"Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment. Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart."

"I wanted to be a palaeontologist, but my parents said there was no future in it"

"Do you know why black people have large nostrils? Because they have big fingers."

"How does a Jew make coffee? He brews it."

"Boss: ""late again I see"" Brain: think of a good excuse! Mouth: ""your moms late."" Brain: wow...."

"What did the borg say to the medieval peasant? Resistance if feudal"

"""Bob's here"" Bob the surgeon or Bob who just pretends he's a surgeon? ""We only know one Bob and he's an accountant"" *arm falls off*"

"My wife is suffering from depression. She phoned me the other day and said ""I feel like jumping in front of a bus and you're not doing anything to help"". So I sent her a timetable."

"Helen Keler walked into a bar then a table.....then a chair."

"I notice you only call when you want something Person calling: ma'am your bill is 90 days past due"