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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure what my three-year-old needs more, naps or an exorcism."

"How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock? She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it."

"What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses? Hippocampus!"

"How Can You Identify a Bald Eagle? All his feathers are combed to one side"

"I don't always correct someone's spelling but when I do, I google it first so I don't make an ass of myself."

"It costs today's parents $235,000 to raise a child. And that's just for the alcohol."

"*sees a spider* I'm going to kill him *turn around to get a shoe* *turns back around and spider has 8 shoes* Alright, let's be cool here"

"I want to tell a joke here... ...but it's about sex and I don't think most redditors get it"

"Joke's on my neighbour, I actually like being kept locked in his shed."

"Blind people Gotta hand it to them."