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Joke of the Day

"The vet told me ""I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down."" ""Oh God!"" I said. ""WHY?!"" ""Because my arms are getting tired."""

"Why is the nose in the middle of the face? Because it's the scenter."

"In most conversations, my face is basically a red battery logo with 10% written next to it."

"You find it offensive. I find it funny, that's why I'm happier than you."

"So there are these two fish in a tank... One of them says to the other, ""I'll drive, you man the guns""."

"""It's summer! Yay! No more school shootings!"" American children."

"One man gave his life, so you could have everything you ever wanted, and his name was JOHN CENA "

"I'd like to give a shout out to those people born in 1932 who are celebrating their 21st birthday today!"

"A toast! Had to throw away my toaster because it kept burning my toast. I guess you could say I'm black toast intolerant."

"I brought my Beats headphones to work, and instead of being left alone, I've had 7 rap battles and am in the finals against A$AP Carol."