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Joke of the Day

"My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear."

"Me: Is there alcohol in this? Barista: ... No ma'am. Me: Can there be?"

"What has four legs and yells ""Hodi doh, hodi doh?"" Two black guys trying to catch an elevator."

"I was trying to catch some fog earlier... I mist."

"Him: I'm sorry, can we start over? Me: great idea! You introduce yourself, and this time I'll keep walking."

"I would love to give Rachel Riley a cream 3.14159265359"

"What do you call a girl whose profile pictures are only facial close ups? Fat."

"Wanna hear a Nirvana joke? Nevermind."

"What do children in north korea study for a science? Kimistry"

"I like my beer the same way I like my violence... Domestic."