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Joke of the Day

"Teaching 19 to cook, clean, and do laundry so if he ever gets married his wife won't divorce him and make him my responsibility again."

"The only time that I get sucked in bed is when there's a mosquito in the room."

"What kind of movies do pirates watch? ARRRR Rated Movies!"

"R.E.M.'s ""Everybody Hurts"" should automatically play every time anyone takes the first bite into a microwaveable burrito."

"Did you that even when The Thing is not scared... He still shits bricks"

"And for his much awaited stunt, Ku Klux Knievel will attempt to jump 50 bIack kids with a steamroller."

"My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell today! Technically he said, 'Less McDonalds' but I'm pretty sure I knew what he meant."

"To girls suffering from a case of too many friend requests: Here is a free tip Put some clothes on and post your real pictures without Photoshop or makeup. Problem solved!"

"Sunset The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good."

"Stereo types exist for a reason. Because not everyone wants a Sony."