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Joke of the Day

"What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad."

"I thought it was funny... Came up with this one yesterday ""What did off-center say to tilted? I don't know either he told me to askew!"""

"I went to one of those colleges where you can make up your own degree... I ended up with a major in paedophilia and a minor in the back of my van."

"I think I'm going to sell my theremin I haven't touched it in ages..."

"Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me."

"You sister said she had to take you socks because she has none You realize your cum socks are all gone.."

"When I watch The Walking Dead I can't help but think those zombies are in way better shape than me."

"The death of Dumbledore helped me process the emotions I felt after losing my grandfather, who was also a well-respected homosexual wizard."

"My aunt used to say ""slow and steady wins the race"" she died in a fire"

"I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven't eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta."