202530

Joke of the Day

"I told my kids I've never done drugs or been with anyone other than their father and the idiots totally bought it."

Next Joke
 
"I want a woman for our president. Like the one we got for Bill."
"I wonder if they sell tumbleweeds on eBay, as it would be cool to have a few following me around the office wherever I go"
"Good guy in movie shot 3 times: I must save my family Me, kinda sore from trampoline sesh: sorry gramma can't make it to your 85th bday"
"What kind of tea do koalas drink? Euca-lipton"
"We save a lot of money on Halloween costumes by having naturally ugly children."
"Did you hear about the criminal who wanted to lose weight to fit into smaller clothes? Last I heard, he was still at large."
"What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off."
"Why couldn't the cut down tree answer a riddle? It was stumped."
"Why is a pensioners vagina like a pork pie? Because you have to bite off the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meat."