202530

Joke of the Day

"I told my kids I've never done drugs or been with anyone other than their father and the idiots totally bought it."

"I want a woman for our president. Like the one we got for Bill."

"I wonder if they sell tumbleweeds on eBay, as it would be cool to have a few following me around the office wherever I go"

"Good guy in movie shot 3 times: I must save my family Me, kinda sore from trampoline sesh: sorry gramma can't make it to your 85th bday"

"What kind of tea do koalas drink? Euca-lipton"

"We save a lot of money on Halloween costumes by having naturally ugly children."

"Did you hear about the criminal who wanted to lose weight to fit into smaller clothes? Last I heard, he was still at large."

"What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off."

"Why couldn't the cut down tree answer a riddle? It was stumped."

"Why is a pensioners vagina like a pork pie? Because you have to bite off the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meat."