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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, its not going to come anyways"
Next Joke
"You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink... Not if Guantanamo Bay has anything to say about it."
"And God said, ""Let there be light""... ..and American beer turned into water. And it was bad."
"Hate being fat. Love eating food."
"me: [gets on one knee] GF: [gasps] me: [reaches into pocket] GF: OMG me: [pulls phone out] don't move there's a Pokemon on your foot"
"Which fish dresses the best? The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!"
"If the Trader Joe's cashier doesn't say ""I love these"" about anything you're buying, you have to put it all back and start over. #sorrybro"
"*walks in *wife is murdered *looks at mirror (Written in blood) YOUR NEXT ""My next what? *from the closet ""Oh sorry typo I meant you're."
"print out the lyrics to ""Girls Just Wanna Fun"" and draw a red X through it all and you have the Quran, pretty much"
"What do you say when comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they're"