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Joke of the Day
"Hate being fat. Love eating food."
Next Joke
"What happens when a lighter smokes weed? It becomes a high-lighter!"
"*dies* *gets to heaven* *sees furries everywhere* Me: What the... Jeebus: Hell hath no furry, man *laughs, puts on giraffe costume*"
"Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus? There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus."
"My wife and I were happy for 25 years Then we met."
"""What should we call the 5th month?"" May I suggest- ""Great suggestion. May it is"""
"Why roboticize vacuuming? It's all instant gratification. It's the crack of cleaning."
"My kids in public are direct payback for every time I shriek'd PLEASE DON'T HIT ME AGAIN at my mom in the middle of a crowded mall as a kid."
"""Well, that just isn't gay enough"" - the inventor of wrestling, shortly before adding spandex to the mix."
"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Surely not sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much about."