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Joke of the Day

"I often agree to let my kids sleep over at other people's houses, just to remind parents that there are kids who are way worse than theirs."

"If you hold your pee.. Then your hands would get wet."

"What do yu get when you cross a Jew? Christianity."

"rumours - Moishe, when you're not at home, the neighbors are spreading rumors about you! - Oh, when I'm not at home, let them even beat me!"

"What did the German Footballer name his pet? Schweinsteiger."

"I'm going to go against the Circlejerk here and say that I am really starting to like Mayweather It's really starting to Warmup, without getting Overlyhot as it does during Midsummer."

"Me: And what do you do if I tell you I'm having a heart attack? Siri: I clear your browser history. Me: That's right darling."

"I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn't tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies."

"My background check bounced."

"How do you figure out if Will Smith committed a crime? Dust for Fresh Prints! (i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)"