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Joke of the Day

"The scientists a scientist went to a remote island with a dog in order to teach his speaking. Three years later, the scientist returns, and is asked about his experiment; he replied ""woof, woof, woof"""

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"[presentation] GUY WITH A COMBOVER NAMED IAN: So that's our plan for the next year. Any questions? ME: Why did you call your combover Ian?"
"You guys ever seen a cockatoo? Yeah? I bet you have."
"Grandpa walks into a drug store Grandpa: ""I'd like to buy 99 condoms."" Clerk: ""Why don't you take 100?"" Grandpa: ""Hey, hey! I'm not a rapist!"""
"What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears? A gf gif gift grift"
"One head is ok, but a whole body is much better."
"Women are like credit cards The ones I really want have a low interest and won't qualify me, so I get stuck with one that has a high interest, extra fees and no rewards. *(credit: Uncyclopedia)*"
"Take it Like a Man ""Take it like a man"" is a phrase that means something completely different if one is hit in the crotch."
"A grasshopper walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, I've got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper replies, ""You've got a drink named Bob?"""
"History of panties... 50 years ago you'd have to pull down her panties to see her ass. Today, you have to pull her ass apart, to see her panties."