202149

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a chicken haunting your house? A Poultrygeist!"

"[magic show] MAGICIAN {fanning out deck of cards}: Pick a card, any card... ME: Your VISA card MAGICIAN: God dammit!"

"What did Davy Crockett say when he looked over The Alamo wall and saw 5,000 Mexican Soldiers? ""Who the hell ordered a new roof?"""

"Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children."

"How many native Americans does it take to change a light bulb? About seven. One to change the bulb, six to sing the song."

"Psychic: *rubbing temples* You want to know if your wife's trying to murder you Me: How'd you know? P: *sees knife in my back* I'm good"

"Check out this joker with his accounting book.. Guy thinks he's Heath Ledger."

"Did you hear about the car with wooden wheels, a wooden engine, and wooden doors? It wooden start"

"What's the difference between President Obama and a bucket of shit? The shit's in a bucket ! *that redneck spit noise followed by a ting*"

"Universities are like priests They will teach you a few things, and then take you into the back room to fuck you."