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Joke of the Day

"Talking about school grades with your parents like... Parents: Got any A's this semester? Me: Go fish."

"What's a homophobe's favorite drink? fruit punch"

"Tax time is when I'm grateful that I'm detal oriented."

"Rich guy does it: 50 Shades of Grey. Poor guy does it: Cops."

"Soccer manager fired for mistake ""Whoops wrong sub"" - Manager"

"I'm not against half naked men. At least not as often as I'd like to be."

"If I had wings, I'd spread them and soar like an eagle for about ten minutes then space out on a phone wire with these fat pigeons"

"(TERRORIST WARNING) Why did the suicidal air go to the airport? So he could BLOW it up. Please don't hurt meh."

"*turns TV off* ""THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!"" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3"

"How did San Diego get its name? Someone dropped their waffle on the beach."