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Joke of the Day

"Helen Keller walks into a bar.... And then a table. And then a chair. Another table...."

"WOW! The Vatican has declared child sex abuse is a crime. Next thing you know they'll ban burning witches!"

"Have you heard the one about the airplane? Never mind. It's over your head."

"""I enjoy working with a hammer, but I don't want a blue collar job."" - Everyone who eventually becomes a judge."

"I'm working on inventing an electronic Ouija board so that I can keep tweeting after I die."

"Just because a lot of guys want you doesn't mean you're wifey material. Just know, cheap items have many buyers. @MaleHonesty86"

"pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.."

"Did you hear about the man who stole that train this morning??? Some say he had a... Loco-motive! I have no life and just made that up while playing gta5... Ill show myself to the door... :'("

"I wonder what those old comedians who made livings cracking wise about airline food are doing now that there's no such thing."

"She told me she wanted to Netflix and chill. But when I got there she had Redbox."