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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me she is sick of me quoting movies all the time I said quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn"

"I wanted sleeve tattoos but keep it 'professional'. So now when I'm naked, it looks like I'm wearing a Brooks Brothers shirt with nipples."

"Apart from designers, what profession is the best at making clothes? Biologists, they work with genes all the time."

"I run a support group for premature ejaculators every Friday at 6. But everybody comes early."

"Why was the gunman on a diet? Because he was still at large."

"A girl tells her parents she's going to major in psychology ""Hey mom! Hey dad! I'm gonna study a real science! PSYCH!"""

"I have my girlfriend a teeth whitening today. Too bad most landed on her chin"

"Alright Ralphs, here's the deal: you replace people with automated cashiers, I replace paying with stealing produce."

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac? A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog."

"There are 3 types of guys in this world 1) Handsome 2) Lucky 3) Me"