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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me she is sick of me quoting movies all the time I said quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn"

"*takes coffee from hot barista *makes eye contact *smiles *winks *sips scalding coffee ""Thankth, thexy! Theeya!"" *walks outside *screams"

"Best Blonde Joke Ever [Best Blonde Joke Ever](http://www.plainjanegames.com/funstuff/bestblondejoke.htm) Oldie but a goodie."

"The worst five words are ""can I have a bite."""

"ME:*lying*omg i have an identical twin too DATE:wow we should all meet up [cut to us at a house of mirrors] DATE: your brother is quiet"

"I was going to tell you guys more jokes about the Titanic passengers but I think they've gone overboard"

"Wife: How many women have u slept with? Husband: Only you, Honey. With everyone else, I was awake."

"Do lady dolphins ever get tattoos of 19-yr-old community college students?"

"Searched my teens room for drugs, was told ""you don't give me enough money for drugs."" I don't know whether to be proud or up his allowance."

"What is a detective duck supposed to do? Quack the case! I'll show myself out."