169515

Joke of the Day

"ME:*lying*omg i have an identical twin too DATE:wow we should all meet up [cut to us at a house of mirrors] DATE: your brother is quiet"

"How did the farmer find his wife? He tractor down."

"""We're going to chop off your testicles so we can love you until we decide you need to die."" --pet owners"

"What did one priest say to the other priest? ""Do you know where my son is?"" ""Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I'm a necrophiliac."""

"Just Juan How many Mexicans does it take to build a lightbulb?"

"I've learned that you can buy a kitten with no problem, but you have to come back at a different time to buy the juicer."

"I found the city in which cheese was first produced! It's from Age!"

"I used to date the lead singer of the cranberries Until i found out she was cheating on me....turns out she had some turkey on the side. :D"

"The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. "

"Did you hear about the white guy who got pulled over? Me neither."