201808

Joke of the Day

"Chicks love guys with tattoos cuz it means they're willing to commit to something stupid for the rest of their lives..."

"My insurance does not cover Jesus taking the wheel. I checked."

"What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle? Attire."

"[hospital] DOCTOR: you're ok ME: so it was just a dream DOCTOR: no your heart did turn into a bowl of cereal but your system is accepting it"

"People who claim to talk to God are so delusional.. I've never talked to any of them."

"Where does a Martian go for a drink? A Mars Bar"

"are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?"

"What do you call a line of Mexicans buried across the border? A spicket fence"

"Boss: ""late again I see"" Brain: think of a good excuse! Mouth: ""your moms late."" Brain: wow...."

"Northern women have PMS Gals from the south have FTS. Fixin' to Start"