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Joke of the Day

"A young pirate asks his old sea dog captain... .. why he wears a patch over one eye. The captain replies, ""Yarr, my parrot shat in me eye... And I wasn't used to me hook"""

"It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen."

"Was driving with my dad the other day and he told me to get the map out of the glove box. Easy there Indiana Jones, I will just google it."

"A young boy's life changed when he found out he could shoot a white sticky substance Only this young boy could also do it from his wrist. Hello spiderman."

"Worrying that ghosts watch you use the toilet is a pretty legitimate concern."

"Why don't the citizens of Boston build igloos? Meh. They just aren't in' uit."

"If your dog is fat it means that you don't get enough exercise."

"Phases of love. 1) xoxo. 2) xxx. 3) ex."

"How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone? A Hans free device"

"There are two kinds of people: Those who know how to do math in binary, and those who don't!"