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Joke of the Day

"My local cafe is getting awfully spiritual these days The new sign says ""Please wait here to be, seated."""

"My cat is rubbing herself all over me because she wants me to stroke her. It's like she's a drunk version of me."

"Im eating out this old lady... Im eating out this old lady and i start to taste horse seamen, at that moment i think, "" oh grandma, thats how you died"""

"What does primate meat taste like? Oh, it has sort of an orangutang to it."

"Dad Joke: Help! There's a letter coming out of the water! It's an emerging 'C'."

"Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking ""Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"""

"Let me tell you the funniest joke I know... Hold on for update, I'm on mobile. edit: forgot the joke"

"What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ? A stripey jumper !"

"Drunk. In Wal Mart. Fuck."

"My girlfriend just told me she might be pregnant I told her to cut it out"