201437

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one where a father told his kid to quit masturbating or he'd go blind? His kid said, ""Dad, I'm over here!"""

"How does NASA organize a party? They planet."

"A man enters the store to buy a dog... ... and points at a puppy he likes. ""How much for that dog?"" ""300$"" ""What about the half?"" ""I'm sorry, we only sell complete dogs."""

"Did you hear about the bacterial outbreak in the office? They said it was a staff infection."

"What did the egg play in the movie? The egg-stra."

"What if we had an internet and nobody came?"

"My dumb friend told me the 'pull my finger' joke ends w you farting, NOT shitting your pants. He's wrong, right? RIGHT???"

"My neighbor introduced his wife to me as his better half. I returned the courtesy by introducing my wife to him as the lesser of two evils."

"Girls who say ""I hate drama"" can usually be found drunk and crying on a public toilet."

"Angry kids are like toys. Wind them up and watch them go."