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Joke of the Day

"Girls who say ""I hate drama"" can usually be found drunk and crying on a public toilet."

"I remain convinced that the only people who can gracefully sprint in stilettos are prostitutes."

"I like that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel & King Triton wouldn't violate a contractual obligation, but they murdered Ursula with a ship."

"A Catholic priest walks into a bar he shits all over the floor. It's disgusting. Customers leave."

"(car dealer) is the passenger seat also heated? ""Aww for ur wife?"" *imagines putting a fast food bag on warm seat after the drive-thru* yes"

"What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner? All rice, all rice, all rice"

"I feel bad for tailgating this minivan so closely but once I started watching Kung Fu Panda on his back seat TV I had to see it through."

"I yell at my grandma to see if she is still alive It's a win win situation, either she's still alive or my inheritance just came in."

"I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really bad about it."

"I like my coffee how I like my life Once thrilling, but now a mundane daily ritual that has me questioning what I ever found enjoyable about it to begin with."