56132

Joke of the Day

"A man enters the store to buy a dog... ... and points at a puppy he likes. ""How much for that dog?"" ""300$"" ""What about the half?"" ""I'm sorry, we only sell complete dogs."""

"My Parents asked me what i wanted for christmas... I said i want something to wear and something to play with. So they got me a pair of pants with the pockets cut out."

"""Rain, rain, go away, come to a poor African nation watered only by tears."" Bono's nursery rhymes are the worst."

"In our fridge there is condensed milk, evaporated milk, vanilla and eggs. So I put a sticker on it saying, ""Warning: Highly Flannable."""

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? A: Conservation of momentum. _____ *Also, give me your best dark jokes, I've been out of it a few years and I need to get some new material.*"

"No one is completely useless... You can always be used as a bad example."

"What else was the man with two penises thankful for? Being ambidextrous."

"How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but first he has to rewire the entire building."

"I'm inventing a glue and calling it James Bond... It's a chemical agent."

"How did the group of 4 dogs win the golf tournament? They combined for 16 paws."