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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if racist families have that one liberal uncle who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and goes on about how Obama is DEFINITELY American."

"Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio? It's a bit of a low blow..."

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a pedophile? Alien vs Predator"

"I broke the drums at the bar where I work, so my boss had to order a new set He told me there would be repercussions"

"Guy calls his doctor... He says, ""I figured out what's been causing the pain, doc. Avocado!"" Doctor: ""Did you research that?"" Guy: ""No, I just pulled it out of my ass"""

"Why couldnt the bike stand on its own? Because it was two tired!"

"ELI5: If both my parents have huge dicks, does that mean I will be genetically guaranteed to have a huge dick when I grow up?"

"What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist? Someone who shows up to your door for no reason."

"There's a button on this hotel phone that says, ""Pizza"". I may never leave."

"I hate when I'm getting a back rub & he stops 3 mins in & says ""my thumbs hurt."" It's not like I ever say ""My jaw hurts."" I finish the job."