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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent? A: Squeaky clean clothes."

"Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None--He'll only promise ""change."""

"I inherited one of the paintings done by Adolf Hitler today. I don't want to hang it in my house though. I'm afraid it's bad Jew Jew."

"I actually feel bad for Justin Bieber. No girl should have to take a picture without her makeup on"

"Relationships are a lot like Algebra... ...have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

"Look dude, I'm going to need to see alot more chest hair and jewelry if you want into my Disco party"

"Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back."

"Why is a baby so hard to blend? Because one hand is used to masturbate and the other hand is used to hold the video camera."

"I don't like bone jokes.. I don't find them humerus."

"What do you call a Mormon who likes to smoke, drink, swear and have sex with strangers? An oxymormon."