201299

Joke of the Day

"My only fitness goal is to look good enough where if I ever posed naked people wouldn't see it and say, ""Wow, that's so brave of him."""

Next Joke
 
"I changed my mind Wife: I changed my mind... Husband: Does the new one work?"
"If I tell you I can't text you because I'm driving it's only because I'm also eating."
"There are three unwritten rules of life. 1. 2. 3."
"The Bible is basically the longest set of Terms & Conditions ever, which is why so many people agree with it without knowing why."
"Are we sure the wise men who brought frankincense and myrrh weren't just trying to sign Mary up for their essential oils pyramid scheme?"
"What did Hitler invest his money in hand sanitizer? It kills 99.9% of Germs."
"Racist joke,(answer this BEFORE you click) What do you call a black man flying a plane? No!!! A pilot! A fucking pilot! You racist bastard!"
"Reporter: Russell Wilson, do you want another Superbowl ring? Wilson: Nah I'll pass."
"I hate that feeling when your iPod earbud accidentally gets ripped out of your ear and you want to murder someone with a hammer."