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Joke of the Day
"No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?"
Next Joke
"[first day as a celebrity chef] *Just a heartrending 40 minute montage of me struggling to get the potato masher out of the cutlery drawer*"
"Why was the juice company losing customers? There was no punch-line."
"Bernie Sanders is so fed up with the BS in politics that he is changing his name. He's changing it to Ernie Anders."
"""If you know about us Canadians, we like to say sorry..."" ""And if you knew that already... I'm sorry"""
"Knock Knock...Who's there? HIPPA...HIPPA Who?...Sorry, Can't tell you."
"What did Neil Armstrong say when he was offered another trip to the moon 'I'm over the moon'"
"Study shows 1 out of 3 people are unfaithful to their partner. I wonder if it's my girlfriend or my wife..."
"You know how Feminists say, ""The only thing men think about is sex."" We also think ""Should I risk it and not wear the condom?"""
"The awkwardness of my life is equivalent to when somebody says ""Happy Birthday"" and you say ""Thanks you too!"""