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Joke of the Day

"What did Neil Armstrong say when he was offered another trip to the moon 'I'm over the moon'"

"So, the KGB walks into a bar... ...and they start, uh... they... I, uh... I don't know. I didn't see *anything*; I swear!"

"This isn't a beer belly, it's a fuel tank for a love machine."

"All Women want is a Guy that makes them laugh- And from what I can tell, Rich guys are fucking hilarious"

"What's brown and sticky? (wait! There's more...) What's brown and sticky? A Stick. What's brown, sticky and Yiddish? A schtick."

"Fucking cows... ...wouldn't recommend it."

"I had a dream That the most beautiful plate of salmon with lemon zest and crusted parmesan was in front and before I could dig in I woke and saw it was my wife's leg spread open."

"Donald Trump's tweets are actually really entertaining if you imagine him tweeting from a gold toilet while having violent diarrhea."

"Just in time for Christmas. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Teaching people that it is okay to make people outcasts for being different until that difference benefits someone since 1939."

"If any one is starting a band, let me know, I'm really good at taking pictures while looking off in the distance."