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Joke of the Day

"[*Wakes up on sofa] ""Did I...DID I HAVE A FIGHT WITH BATMAN?"" Wife [from bedroom]: ""YOU. PUNCHED. A. NUN."""

"what do you call a jamaican proctologist? POKE-MON!"

"What do you call a person who farts in private? A private tutor"

"Yesterday my Korean friend died... He was So Yung"

"Our Mexican neighbor made us dinner and it tastes like I committed a grave error in marrying a white girl."

"LPT: To baby-proof your home: put your front doorknob like 4 feet off the ground so the babies can't reach it. Then those fuckers won't get in!"

"A website that automatically plays music or needs to ""load"" is as outdated & terrible as slavery."

"What do you call the wafers you eat at church? Jeez-its"

"Pokemon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere"

"What's the difference between my girlfriend and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking when I smack it"