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Joke of the Day

"I drank my recommended amount of water today, yay! Okay, well there was some vodka mixed in every cup, but still."

"The creepiest thing you can do is drive next to someone on the highway at the exact same speed."

"Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals. On this Republicans are in full agreement."

"How many ghosts does it take to change one lightbulb? Zero. They don't exist."

"I get so fustrated when people say ""supposably"" or ""irregardless"" I feel like I'm literally drownding"

"What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot, you racist!"

"I've never laughed at anything any of you losers have posted here on this forum. It's sad as fuck."

"why do feminists have two more brain cells than a cow? so when you play with their tits they don't shit on the floor."

"Me + Bed + Pillow = Best threesome ever."

"Books all over the floor..... but I have only my shelf to blame."