200805

Joke of the Day

"i love working at the post office at the north pole and ripping up white children's letters to santa claus"

"Last night I thought I heard the spring onions singing Bee Gees songs in my fridge. When I opened the door I realised it was just the chives talking."

"Your eyes are like the stars Not because their beautiful, but because their so far apart"

"What word is always spelled wrong? Wrong"

"What's the longest word in the dictionary? ""Smiles"" because there is a mile between each S!"

"The only time my girl friend will ever scream ""DEEPER, DEEPER""... ...is when they are lowering my casket into the ground!"

"Naming my favorite books is like choosing which of my kids I love more! In that I have a full list right here, do you have a pencil ready"

"I was masturbating, looked up and saw my mom standing there. I was really freaked out. Because she died 6 years ago."

"Relationships are easy as pie! *burns pie*"

"When the machines rise up against us humans, I really hope ... ...I really hope I'm nowhere near a dildo factory..."