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Joke of the Day

"What's the longest word in the dictionary? ""Smiles"" because there is a mile between each S!"

"What's a nanny's favorite letter? I don't know, but it's not E."

"Getting a text message from your ex is like getting a message from Satan on an Ouija board."

"Your plastic surgery looks amazing. Your rotting, lifeless corpse is going to look so young. The other corpses will be so jealous."

"A sweet treat. I find my sex life is a lot like Nutella. Everyone loves it and has it all the time, and I'm just sitting in bed alone with a box of Ritz crackers."

"How do you get dragon pee? Drop your catheter bag."

"So apparently Garry glitter has gone down, ON LITTLE GIRLS HAHEHHEHEE (heat plz)"

"Pharmacies could save a lot of hassle and just have customers walk through a denim detector to see if they're cooking meth."

"What's the difference between a hockey team and a New Jersey hooker? A hockey team showers after 3 periods."

"Guess What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves? Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now?"