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Joke of the Day

"When the machines rise up against us humans, I really hope ... ...I really hope I'm nowhere near a dildo factory..."

"What's the difference between a Hummer and a cactus? A cactus has all the pricks on the outside."

"My grandma can hold her breath for over sixteen years!"

"What's an old carpenter's biggest issue? Losing teeth."

"My girlfriend said if this gets 100 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me."

"If laughter was the best medicine... Your face would cure the world!"

"When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress? I'd prefer if you included tigress"

"ME: Mexican food does NOT agree with me BURRITO: Correct. Your thoughts on middle eastern power structures are banal and imperialist at best"

"What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot? A Walkie Talkie"

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You don't know man, you weren't there!"