200768

Joke of the Day

"There's a theory that Princess Diana had dandruff. They found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"If this paper cut is any indication of my pain threshold, then child birth would definitely kill me."

"Worst place to buy condoms? A church. They're holy."

"What kind of trophy do I get every time I lift weights? Hypertrophy!"

"In 8th grade I had to take care of an egg to teach me responsibility. That egg hatched, and I raised the chicken as my own. He was delicious"

"Australian Police are on the look out for a serial Aboriginal basher I called them up about it, apparently it's not a job"

"How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas? Tarrif-ied."

"Ever had sex while camping? ... ITS FUCKING INTENTS"

"If I ever become a filthy millionaire, I'm gonna string 50 smartwatches together and create a batman belt of gadgets out of them I know it's a waist of time, but it'll be worth it."

"How do you ask for a cigarette in spain? Tapas a snout!"