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Joke of the Day

"Australian Police are on the look out for a serial Aboriginal basher I called them up about it, apparently it's not a job"

"Vin Diesel is Latin for ""the guy we get when The Rock won't do it"""

"If you love someone: 1. Set them free 2. Drunk dial them 3. Read too much into their FB posts 4. Make them feel sorry for you 5. Die alone"

"You heard about the guy who stole that calendar right? he got 12 months ...I'll see myself out"

"Why do people draw sunglasses on the sun? It's like, dude, he's the sun. They make sunglasses because of him."

"You'd think that the guy in charge of putting pepperoni on frozen pizzas would've been up for a performance review by now."

"A man is suing a hardware for selling him a bucket with holes in it. Personally, I don't think his argument holds water."

"How do you surprise Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet"

"*affixes a second leash to a hot babes dog while shes tying her shoe* would you look at that. we have the exact same dog. this is incredible"

"Who annoyed Polyphemus even more then Odysseus? Nobody"