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Joke of the Day

"Favourite pickup line... Did you know there will be 7 planets tomorrow? Because I am going to destroy Uranus tonight."

"Did you know you can catch a bullet... But only once"

"I have a great relation ship with Jesus He mows my lawn for $6 an hour"

"""Chewing"" and ""eating"" are very similar things. But ""getting chewed out"" and ""getting eaten out"" are very different."

"Girl are you Monday because I am not looking forward to seeing you again"

"My girlfriend told me to stop singing wonderwall... I said maybe..."

"What do you call a Russian sex offender who is trying to quit smoking? A vape-ist"

"My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!"

"Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way."

"what's the difference between cocaine and a 4 year old? Eric Clapton would never let cocaine fall out a window"