200509

Joke of the Day

"After I ask a stranger if I can pet their dog and they say yes, I like to respond, ""I'll keep that in mind"" and walk off"

"Thought Experiment: Stand on a scale in an elevator. Cut the cable. You, the scale, and the elevator fall -- scale reads zero"

"My vocabulary is so poor... I can not express it in words."

"You're so ugly that when they went looking for flight MH370 black box they found your vagina"

"How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb? well many how???"

"5,000 married men were surveyed as to why they like receiving oral sex. * 1% liked the warmth * 2% liked the sensation * 3% liked the eroticism * 94% just liked the peace and quiet"

"What can't a man with no arms break? His fall."

"Art Teacher: your drawings are due tomorrow me: [hours later] maybe add in some grapes police sketch artist: ..a bowl of fruit attacked you?"

"Two Lesbian Vampires have just had sex.... and one says to the other: ""Same time next month?"""

"Monday, after class, I get back to my dorm ready to start all my homework due this week."