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Joke of the Day

"Thought Experiment: Stand on a scale in an elevator. Cut the cable. You, the scale, and the elevator fall -- scale reads zero"

"Reasons to not go camping No.154: People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world..."

"OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog."

"I don't know what Germany's favorite letter is but I can definitely tell you it's... Not C."

"a co-worker asked me if I was pregnant and I panicked and said yes so now I have to gradually gain like 30 pounds"

"Vodka and I go together like falling down the stairs and getting fucked in my sleep."

"Girls love when you hug them from behind and whisper sweet nothings in their ears. Strangers, not so much."

"Why do mice have such small balls? Because not very many of them can dance."

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts One is $3.50 the other is under a buck."

"Where should we look to stem global overpopulation? The youth in Asia....."