200472

Joke of the Day

"People who are genuinely surprised when politicians behave badly should be forced to wear helmets for their own protection."

"""Let's tell people about our waffle and then not do shit for 100 years."" -Belgium"

"Today, coworker deemed herself ""unscareable"". Now I have no choice but to hide in the backseat of her car with an axe & correct her grammar."

"The Inventor of Stereo steps back to admire his work and says ""Let's see how this pans out."""

"I recently won a punctuation competition. My prize was an apos-*trophy*."

"How do you guarantee that your wishes always come true? Wish for something that is already true."

"How can you tell that a straight pin is confused? Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other."

"But I'm the good kind of abomination, right???"

"I bet the first thing that happens after you die is you get charged some sort of fee."

"Did you know that Christmas will fall on star wars day this year!? Guess whos coming to town?"