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Joke of the Day
"What's Thom Yorke's reddit? /u/KarmaPuhlease"
Next Joke
"My doctor said if I get 1000 upvotes he will perform free LASIK surgery!! Upvote for visibility."
"""Wanna see a movie?"" ""Can't. Don't exist yet."" ""Shit."" (1700s)"
"Girl, are you E=mc 2? Because I do not have the energy to figure out what is the matter with you."
"Witness protection, but for men who have accidentally told a woman she looks tired"
"Have you ever been to an Istanbul nightclub? I hear they're poppin' and a good place to get wasted!"
"I wonder if Ninja-Siri wields Cortanas."
"I use someone calling me during a phone call as an opportunity to hang up on both of them."
"Williams Sonoma excels at selling me cookware I don't need to prepare meals with ingredients I can't afford for dinner guests I don't have."
"Wrong hole. Wrong hole. Wrong hole. Wrong hole. -trying to put on my distressed denim jeans"