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Joke of the Day

"My teacher always hated my answers to her math questions. ""If I have 6 candy bars in one hand and 7 in the other, what do I have?"" Diabetes?"

"The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large."

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"

"I don't understand women... I thought opening the door was the right thing to do, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane..."

"A feminist asked me how I see lesbians Apparently in ""HD"" wasn't the right answer"

"Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest"

"Notre Dame beat Navy yesterday. If Navy beats ISIS, does that help Notre Dame's strength of schedule?"

"Every time I have a big bowel movement I say thank you to my digestive system. For putting up with my shit."

"3 DBAs walk into a NoSQL bar.. And they left because there were no ""tables"".."

"Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn't like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes."